A Great Love Song...

Train Wreck 

by A Rotterdam November (www.myspace.com/arotterdamnovember) 

I could never promise I won't let you down. 

I won't give my word, you won't get hurt. 

But, look at the stars, they don't always shine so bright. 

They're above us now, they're above us night after night. 

Look at my hands now. They look so empty without yours. 

Emotions are footprints in the rain, but my heart pounds like a...  

Chorus:  

Train wreck, the subway's on fire. 

I'll do my best to save what I save. 

Smoke or ash, we're never looking back. 

As strong as I can, I'll stay on the track.  

Verse 2:  

I don't always convey exactly the right words. 

Sometimes, my tongue is sharp and I yield it like a sword. 

But, do you see the waves? Crashing relentlessly on the shore. 

Carving stone and rock without retreat in a campaign of war. 

Consider my eyes now, bluer than this persistent army. 

Emotions are footprints in the rain, but my heart pounds like a...  

Chorus  

Bridge:  

I'm coming, for you, I swear it's true, I'll let it stand like a monument.  

Think of me, when you see it. This train, will be on time. 

The engine is empty, but who needs coal? Trust me, I can't be everything.  

I'll be here, pounding like a..  

Chorus  

I love this song because it's so real. It's not promising that every thing is going to be perfect and that there won't be any problems. It's saying that I'm a train wreck. Destroyed and battered and on fire but still on the track. Doing every thing in my power to stay on track, stay focused on the goal of loving unconditionally. I dunno....just a great all around song from an amazing band. 

-casey jack-

A Conversation Between The Angel and the Man

I realize that some of you might have already read this but I want to put it up anyways.  It's just a short story of sorts that I wrote a little bit ago after an inspired morning/afternoon.

A Conversation Between the Angel and the Man

He never imagined himself gazing into the eyes of an angel but there she stood, with blue diamonds as her eyes and perfectly cut pearls as her teeth.  But no, they weren’t diamonds or pearls for that would degrade the beauty of what he was looking at.  They were so much more than a common pear cut, so much more than a simple stone.  He was gazing into the eyes of perfection and they stared back with an intensity that almost stung.  But not like the sting of a fresh wound, more like the sting of a great, icy lake when you first dive in.  It was the feeling of refreshment that was never felt before. 

She began to speak and it was like music; music that could not be made by the hands of man.  There were overtones in the melody line that seemingly drifted along in the air like a light breeze.  Her words were soft yet full of intensity and her eyes seeped with compassion.  And then she asked him to speak. 

He opened his mouth and heard the words coming out but could not remember whether or not he told his mouth to say such things.  It was useless trying to keep his mouth shut.  He was so intrigued by the figure in front of him that his only response was to talk without ceasing, so he did.  He talked, she smiled and laughed, and with each laugh and smile that she gave to him as a present, she encouraged him to keep going.  And so he did.  Then she spoke., and then he, then she again.  So the conversation between the angel and the man continued. 

As the clouds separated and the night drew to an end, the man awoke with a jerk.  He sat up in his bed and looked at the clock.  The lights shone “11:11 AM.”  With the sudden realization of what time it was, the man quickly went to his closet, dressed himself, headed into the bathroom and freshened up.  He left the house without a moment to spare.  As he drove, the rain trilled out a beat on his windshield.  He pulled down the busy little main street, found a lone parking spot in the sea of cars around him, got out, and opened the door with a smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach. 

Thanks for reading!

-casey jack-

11:11....my curse....

So on November 11th of this year (11/11), for some random reason, I looked at my cell phone to see the time.  The time was 11:11 AM...why I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was, I don't know.  But ever since that day I have seen 11:11 or 1:11 on an almost daily basis.  Odd...I know...

Anyways, I've had a lot of time in the past few days to do a whole lot of nothing.  So, basically I've been catching up on my old TV addictions and maybe gaining a few in the process.  I've been watching old seasons of the OC and remembering why I love this show.  So it's full of incredibly, unlikely, teenage angst filled situations and random, family connections that make the plot seemingly fall into a bottomless pit of near incestuous situations...I still love it.  Adam Brody is my personal hero and I pride myself on being somewhat similar to him, personality wise.  Little quirky things about me that can be somewhat annoying but mostly endearing.  But yeah...enough about the OC.

I actually don't have much else to say....I watched some more of the Office....and it's definitely growing on me....umm....yeah! This is definitely a pretty much pointless blog so I will leave you with this random fact about me:

When I was a kid, I was verily obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  On my 7th (at least I think it was my 7th) birthday my parents, who work for United Airlines and fly for free, took me to Atlanta, GA to see "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out of Their Shells! Live Tour"  It was amazing.  That's pretty much it....TTFN!

-casey jack-

The List

ok well this is something I started a while ago and will continue to update as I see fit!

This is a list, always growing and probably never finished, of thoughts on any and every subject I can think of. Some thoughts will be small and insignificant and some will bill lengthy and probably worthy of their own note. If you don’t want to read the entire list in one sitting…don’t even worry about it. And if you don’t want to read the list at all…that’s fine as well. I’ll try to keep it to about 10 thoughts per post/update so that it’s not super overwhelming. So here it goes….my list of everything.

Thoughts Themselves:
You can’t ever not think. You’re always thinking of something. You could be in the most unconscious state possible but yet you are still thinking of something. Unconscious yes but not without thought. It’s amazing to think of some of the thoughts that have been thought. Civil rights were once just a thought and now look what they’ve turned into. Everything amazing, beautiful, cruel, disgusting, funny, and any other adjective you choose was once just a mere thought.

Hair:
I like to change my hair up. I don’t like having the same haircut for an extended amount of time. If my hair gets too long I have the sudden urge to cut it and if it’s not cut within the first day or so of me having the urge…I get antsy and have a friend chop it off. 

Appearance:
I get pissed off when girls think so much of their appearance that they forget how truly beautiful they are. I think when you get so wrapped up in how you look rather than who you are…you become less of who you’re supposed to be. I also am not all for the “I don’t give a shit about what I look like” look. I mean I would rather have that than the person who cares too much about what they look like but when you look yourself in the mirror, realize that you look like a whale just threw you up, and decide not to do anything about it…I don’t even know. 

The Beatles:
Ok…this one might be a longer one. I believe that the Beatles are the single greatest band on the face of the planet. First off, they wrote music as a band for 10 years and in those 10 years they managed to change how the world viewed rock music for many years to come. Secondly, they wrote hundreds of hits within 10 years…any band today is lucky to even have 10 hits within 10 years let alone stay together for that long. Their entire motto of “All You Need is Love” is something that everyone (especially Christians…but we’ll get to that later) needs to live by. Love is truly all you need. These guys were messed up though. They did things that people look down upon in today’s society. Tons of drugs, even more sexual encounters, egos as big as redwoods…yet still they left a legacy that will NEVER be forgot. They were a huge part of the 60’s movement so the whole drugs and sex thing wasn’t really something looked down on at the time…it was part of the whole movement. The songs they wrote though…oh my goodness. The songs the wrote are simple yet complex, both lyrically and musically and because of this they are freaking amazing! Their lyrics have so much meaning but yet, in some cases, have no meaning at all and yet they are still amazing. These guys new music too. Their chord progressions and lead parts were so different and amazing in every way and not to mention the string accompaniments that were in so many songs. I also love the versatility of them. The fact that they could do something like “Lady Madonna” and then something as completely different as “Eleanor Rigby” is an absolutely amazing feat. I am pretty sure that 90% of today’s bands couldn’t even come close to pulling that off. Overall the Beatles were, are and will always be the greatest band of all time. I will sing my children to sleep with “Good Night” and feed them Beatles for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Cell Phones:
Do they cause cancer? I don’t know…maybe. They are pretty great though. I have to say, we have become completely dependent on the cell phone. Without our cell phones I think we would quickly fall into economic and mental turmoil. But that’s probably not going to happen, so until then I’ll keep my unlimited nights and weekends and texts. 

Heat:
I’m sorry if this offends anyone….but fuck heat. I can’t stand it. I absolutely can’t stand living in a place where the sun shits during the summer. I can’t walk outside without creating a swamp in every crevice of my body and it’s disgusting. If I could control the weather, it would be snowing in Azusa right now. 

Swearing:
I used to hate it. I used to never swear and it turned me off whenever someone did it but lately…I’ve kind of been a sailor. Mostly to myself and when I’m writing and stuff. I mean I still try to reserve my swear words for when they will really impact the situation, but they are becoming more and more prevalent in my daily life.

Money:
I hate money. I wish money would disappear and everything would be free. The only reason I want money is to survive. I know that money can’t make me happy or buy me love (There they are again…gotta love them), I just wish that I would not have to worry about money. But that’s kind of why we live. We live to make money so that we can live so that we can make money. It’s a ridiculous cycle that we’ll never be rid of until we’re dead.

Work:
Goes along the lines of money. I like work. It keeps me busy so that I actually feel like I’m being productive with my life. I’m not huge on garden/yard work. It’s not the manual labor part…because I can lift speakers onto high ledges or speaker stands or other similar tasks like a mother…but there is something about working in a yard that just pisses me off…it’s probably the damn sun (see Heat). But yeah…I think I actually kind of like work.

…:
I love using “…” It’s probably kind of annoying to read but I don’t care. Ok that’s kind of a lie. I’ve been trying to cut back on my “…” usage. I’ve been trying to use more commas and periods…but whatever…….

Grammar:
I’m a freaking grammar lover. I don’t know, something about using “than” and “then” in the correct way just makes me happy! Also when words are spelled differently, sound the same but are used for different reasons…I need to have the correct usage or else I’ll feel completely stupid. A big turn on for me is when a girl will actually use correct grammar…it really does make a world of a difference to me.

Health and Healthy things:
Why is it that the healthy things and the things that are good for you cost so much and are so much more difficult to achieve? Like why does organic food cost more than normal, non-organic and not as healthy food...I mean I know why....but it just seems oxymoronish (made up word...but roll with it, I'm allowed to). I think it kind of goes along the lines of God's way of speaking to us. He likes to speak in contradictions...die to live, give and you shall receive, etc... I feel like it's a way of God telling us that the things in life that are good for us are more difficult and the right thing isn't normally the easy thing.

Harry Potter:
OK...for those who don't know...I'm a Harry Potter FANATIC!!! I could talk to you forever about the theories and meanings behind the books and I wouldn't get sick of it! But I won't, I'll leave it at this. JK Rowling is an absolute genius and the story she tells about a young wizard with a lightning shaped scar is one that will be told until the end of time...oh and November 11th...Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes to theaters!

Vinyl:
Vinyl's rad...no doubt about it. Tonally, visually, emotionally...(ok that one's a stretch...) it's just rad. I'm, personally, trying to collect all the major Beatle albums on vinyl...if you could help that'd be tremendous. But yeah, vinyl is awesome.

Cruises:
If you've never been on a cruise, you're missing out. Food bars open all the time, people you've never met and become instant friends with them, never really talking to them afterwards, watching your brother become so drunk that he thinks an elevator is locking him inside of it, amazing dinners every night and soft serve ice cream whenever you want....man...it doesn't get better. 

Amps:
So many people get confused when it comes to amplifiers. When a sound guy refers to an amp, he's referring to a piece of equipment that takes the out going signal from the soundboard, a low level signal known as mic level, and boosts it up to a high level signal that can be projected from speakers. This amp is a rectangular box consisting of A/C (alternating current) to D/C (Direct Current) converters and capacitors and powers speakers by storing up electricity in the capacitors and sending it to the speakers at a constant rate (kind of like inward breathing if you will) sending to the speakers and storing in the capacitors all at the same time. Now when a guitar player refers to an amp he is referring to the piece of equipment that takes the signal from his guitar (another low level signal but this one's called line level) and boosts it up to a playable level in the, more than likely, built in speaker. So they are basically the same thing...equipment that takes a low level signal and boosts it up to a high level signal...so now you know the difference between an amplifier and a guitar amplifier.

Incense:
I love incense. The smell of them and the relaxing mood they put you in. ahhh....so nice....

Mornings:
I like mornings but I don't like waking up to an alarm. When I don't wake up to an alarm I likely miss the mornings...I wake up at like 11 and let's face it....11 is the new 12.

Cleaning One's Ears:
After a warm shower the best thing you can do is take a Q-tip and shove it in your ear....I'm pretty sure there's no better feeling than cleaning your ears after a shower....it kind of takes the whole "drying" part of getting out of the shower and makes it not annoying.

Online Scheduling:
In my experiences, I've realized that APU has a great online registering system; Citrus, however, has the worst online registering system I've ever attempted to use. I can't ever add classes because they always have some stupid error. It's ridiculous...all you Cougars should be grateful for your great system.

Quoting Things:
For anyone who knows me, I pretty much communicate everything in movie/tv quotes. If I say something that makes some sense but not perfect sense in a situation, it's just me quoting a movie or tv show....if that quote is in a weird accent I'm probably quoting Flight of the Conchords.....just go with it.

Laptops:
I love my macbook. I wouldn't trade it for anything....well maybe one with more RAM and a bigger hard drive....but still...Laptops are great because you can take them anywhere with you....even the bathroom....

iPhone 3G:
Amazing....that's basically all I have to say about it...best phone I've ever had.

Being Busy v. Having Nothing To Do
When you're busy you get tired, you want nothing more to stop with all the jobs or home work and just sit on the couch and watch Friends or something. But you keep pressing on until the job is done, but then after the job is done you have something else to do and it becomes this horrible never ending spiral of somethings to do. When you have nothing to do, you just sit and watch Friends. You feel relaxed but you feel ridiculously un-productive. You want to go out and do something but there's NOTHING to do...so you continue to sit and it suddenly becomes a perpetual wheel of nothings to do...so which is better? The answer? Neither....they both suck.

The Twilight Saga:
Ok so I have a few things to say about the current book series I'm reading. The story is great. The idea of vampires living more or less human lifestyles and being "vegetarian" is awesome. One of said vampires falls in love with human girl. Human girl wants to become vampire....all rad. The writing....not so much. I feel like the writing is really immature, there are tons of grammatical errors and I feel like more synonyms could be used. But at the same time I realize that this is a book for teenagers (why I like reading these books more than books for adults is beyond me...) I enjoyed Twilight, am enjoying Midnight Sun a little better, I hated New Moon (this book is boring without vampires...even with the replacement of werewolves), loved Eclipse and so far Breaking Dawn is turning out to be my favorite. When I finish (probably sometime within the next week) I'll let you know. Oh and I promise to not have as many ( ) in the next topic.



Ok…I’ll leave it at that for now…to be updated soon.

Bands I probably won't ever see live...

So I love going to shows.  I love going to shows where the music is super high energy and everyone is going crazy and I also love going to shows where the music is super chill.  There's a certain intimacy to the music when the people who wrote it are right there in front of you.  I was listening to one of my favorite bands, Blindside, and realized that I will probably never see them live again.  I've seen them twice and they were both amazing shows.  But they've gone back to their home country of Sweden and I don't think they will be coming back anytime soon.  And that saddens me.  It got me thinking of bands that I will never see live again, or never see live period.

The Beatles - 

I think this one makes me the most sad.  The Beatles are my all time favorite band....period.  I can listen to them anytime of day, in any mood.  They just do it for me...(that's what she said)...but seeing as how two of them are deceased....I will never see them play a show unless it's on a DVD or something.  I mean I could possibly, maybe see a Ringo Starr or Paul McCartney concert but that wouldn't be the same thing.  : ( Oh well....I guess my vinyls, anthology DVD's and books of them will have to suffice.

Further Seems Forever - 

I'm not talking about the newest version of Further Seems Forever.  I'm talking about the original line up with Chris Carrabba as their front man.  Chris Carrabba (Dashboard Confessional) is one of my biggest musical influences and one of my personal heroes.  I've seen Dashboard once and it was amazing.  But I will never hear some of my favorite FSF songs played by Chris and the original guys.

Billy Talent - 

These guys are great.  Extremely odd, high pitched, almost screeching vocals but they sound great.  The guitars are always ridiculously precise.  They live in Canada and tour mostly there and Europe...so I will likely not see these guys in the near or distant future.

Flight of the Conchords - 

I'm just accepting defeat on this one.  Last time these guys played in LA they sold out two shows in a minute....I didn't even come close to getting a ticket...

Jeff Buckley - 

His arrangement of the Leonard Cohen song, "Hallelujah" is by far the most famous version of the song.  His voice is one of the most amazing tenor tones I've ever heard and I will never hear him sing Hallelujah or any of his other amazing songs live because he, as well as so many other amazing musicians, is deceased.  He died about 10 years ago by drowning in a river soon after the release of his first and only album, "Grace"

That's pretty much it...sad day though.  The good news is, there are tons of other bands who are just as amazing, if not more amazing, live.  So there's always looking forward to those shows.  Speaking of, my friend Tori and I are going to be seeing some pretty flippin' awesome bands in the next month including The Bird and the Bee, Dear and the Headlights, Kinch, and A Rotterdam November...it should be a good month!  

Thanks for reading! 

-casey jack-

Our new president is left handed, but he's not the first...

Garfield, Hoover, Truman, Ford, Reagan, Bush Sr, and Clinton were all left handed presidents.  I know this because my friend's mom knew this (no, I'm not my friend's mom...this is not Fight Club).  

As I was watching the inauguration today I received a revelation.  I've never been proud to be American.  I've never not been proud to be American.  I've just been an American...that's all.  Today, as I watched our first African-American president swear his oaths, I realized that our country is truly blessed.  Whether or not you like Obama, you live in a country that within 60 years has changed and progressed so much that we've gone from making anyone of color a complete outcast to a place where a man of color can be the leader of our country.  You have to admit, this is an amazing accomplishment.  

All political stand points aside, you can't ignore that our country has made incredible leaps in becoming a great nation.  Yes, we have our downfalls and some of them are huge.  But through everything, the Nazi reign, the Great Depression, segregation, racism, slavery, the Civil War, the current day civil war between republican and democrat, we have overcome.  We keep progressing and we keep overcoming obstacles and we aren't stopping anytime soon.

My revelation is that I am proud to be American.

First blog...you know!

Ok well I've decided to hop on the blogging bandwagon.  Basically I'll be putting all my writings up here, whether that be poems, songs, random rants that I decide to go on....what have you which is pretty much what everyone else does...I don't even know why people have these first blogs....they're all the same.  Anyways, here's something that I wrote a while ago and haven't read since I wrote it.

Stay and Fade

Oh angel of my nightmares

Why do you taunt me so?

You reign with a terror so painful

And in such a beautiful way

 

I can’t help but stare into your eyes

All the while knowing

That my heart will turn to stone

If only I gaze long enough

 

And the fire on your head

Is so captivating

Its blaze is so rapturous

I forget where I am

 

Just then I look around me

And remember that I am deep within

A damp crevice in the psyche of myself

And I am falling

 

Deeper and deeper

Yet you still remain

You still remain

 

And you don’t get smaller as I fall faster

You only gain in size

As though some poor mathematical juncture

Was forged as the physics of this universe

 

So while you remain,

I fade

While you remain,

I fade

While you remain,

I fade…

Ok well I will be posting more in days to come, seeing as how I am unemployed until the 1st week of February and don't start class until later then that.  TTFN, ta ta for now!

-casey jack-